Bearing Witness
By Mark Doersken
Once again, I’ve been thinking of the notion of “bearing witness” in the context of my life and ministry, and how important it is.
The first example is from life in my neighbourhood. Mary and I live in what is known as Old St. Vital in Winnipeg. Quite a few years ago now, we put up a lending library on our yard. We did so because the street that we live on lends itself to this; it is a quiet street with plenty of
pedestrian traffic. This library has been a busy place over the years, not just for the books, but also for conversations. Especially in warmer weather, we’ll often chat with our neighbours as they’ve stopped to take out a book.
About three weeks ago now, the doorbell rang at our house, and as I opened the door a woman was using the speaker phone on her cell. She said to me quickly, “My Dad wants to talk to you.” After a few sentences, I realized I was speaking with my neighbour from a couple of streets over, and he had sent his daughter to our place because he has difficulty getting out in the winter. It turns out that his wife had passed away, and based on one of our conversations by the library, he had remembered that I was a minister—and would I be able to help plan a service? Thankfully, I was able to do so, and a few days later, I was able to meet with the family and get the service organized. Conversation about God and about Jesus ensued, and it was one of those seemingly rare conversations with a neighbour where I was able to directly bear witness as to why Jesus is so important. I was thankful to God for the opportunity to get to know him and his family better, and to be able to speak plainly about Christ.
A couple of weeks later, I was at the Heartland Pastor and Spouse Retreat at Russell, MB. Our speakers were Sam and Pauline Doerksen, and they spoke to us about resiliency in ministry, for three sessions. They spoke of their own journey to set the table for us all, speaking honestly and reflectively about the hard times of ministry, and how they got through them. After each of their sessions, Cindy Emmons and I had arranged to have 3 different folks respond with a vignette of resilience in their lives, as well. I am convinced that Sam and Pauline’s bearing witness to their ministry, to the difficult aspects of it and the ways forward, was powerful for our group because their vulnerability enabled others to be vulnerable as well. The vignettes we heard were also powerful reminders of Christ’s presence in ministry, and they enabled others to know who to turn to should they experience similar circumstances.
Bearing witness, as I see it, comes in different forms. Our willingness to be vulnerable and humble as we bear witness to Christ can be a huge help to others in their journeys as well.
Peace,
Mark Doerksen
Heartland Regional Minister
Kenny Warkentin, Associate Pastor at Trinity Baptist Church, Winnipeg
“I am great-looking, talented, and creative. I am Tina Turner. I love life and will BE SOMEONE someday and will look back at all this and laugh.” This is a quote written in my journal on March 10, 2005. I had recently ended an eight-year relationship with my gay partner. Two days later, my life would take an even more drastic turn, a direction so different from what I knew that it shocked everyone—including myself.
“Yes God, I love You and will follow You. I trust You, but I’m not so sure about your children!”
This was my response to God after He spoke to me on March 12, 2005. I had gone for a morning run and cried a feeble help to God. His response? “You don’t have to go back to Egypt!” Immediately, I knew that this was my tightly-held gay identity, and a joy filled me to overflowing. He said that if I would put my trust in Him, he would provide all I would need. Humanly speaking, the road ahead didn’t look very appealing. I knew deep down that I would most likely wrestle with same-sex attraction (SSA) all my life and yet, spiritually speaking, I was filled with such love that it was easy to surrender and place my life, gender, attractions, and desires into God’s hands. I counted everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. (Phil 3:8)
To gain perspective, I grew up in the Church and accepted Jesus as my savior at an early age. I knew I was called to serve Him, but my identity and attractions seemed off. Festering gender dysphoria and attractions toward guys, I felt God had made a horrible mistake. How could this be? Had I not accepted Jesus into my heart? Did I not love God? My internal questions propelled me to please God by doing all the right things, and yet—I lived a life of duplicity. A good, Christian man on one hand, and a gay man on the other. Most of the messages in the 90’s that I heard in church about gay people weren’t so great, so I kept my mouth shut. Eventually, I opened my mouth to proclaim, “I’m gay and was born this way!” I embraced this as my identity, and since I could not reconcile this with the word of God, I walked away from the church for 8 years.
So, to hear this call to not go back to Egypt (gay identity), I knew there was a call to re-enter church life and to be open with my Christian brothers and sisters. This felt terrifying. Would I be rejected or embraced? God began to show me that living transparently was life-giving. It didn’t mean my struggles lessened, but it brought about freedom and authentic friendships. Sensing a call into ministry, I joined a para-church organization that focused on obedience to the word, discipleship, and prayer ministry. I had the honour of hearing many stories of relational and sexual brokenness, and witnessing the Holy Spirit reveal the gospel message of ‘good news,’ which is that God loves extravagantly, and He can redeem all things.
Amid coming to peace with being a single man with SSA, God surprised me and brought into my path a woman named Paula—who had her own journey of redemption—and we became good friends. God birthed in us a deep love and attraction toward one another, and we married in 2007. Never would I have imagined this. It didn’t mean I was ‘fixed,’ but it meant that God had a plan and a purpose, and we knew this was His good and pleasing gift for our lives.
Pastoring a church wasn’t high on my bucket list. Truthfully, it was not on my list at all. I was content in para-church ministry, growing in my knowledge of the word and sharing God’s testimony in my life. We were members at Trinity Baptist Church in Winnipeg, led a small group, and I was on the worship and teaching team. After seven years in para-church ministry, I sensed that God was asking me to resign and trust Him with the next leg of the race. Three days before my last day, the elders of Trinity came and asked if I would consider coming on as the Associate Pastor. Paula and I took that into the prayer room over the summer of 2013 and both felt confirmation. I accepted and have been in this role for 10 years. Looking back, I am reminded of the ways God has called me/us into radical trust. I’m reminded that He delights in taking those who feel like they don’t have the skills (goods) or strength, but are willing to say yes to His invitation of service. Then He says, “Watch Me move on behalf of My kingdom!” I’m reminded that God does the impossible things so that He gets all the glory and fame. My prayer has been, and continues to be, that the Church would grow in their obedience to God’s word and be a safe place for all to come and encounter God’s love in and through the body of Christ and be transformed, by submitting everything over to Jesus.
Paula and I, along with our daughter, enjoy art, music, dance, gardening, writing, and opening our home to hospitality. I can often be found in the kitchen baking bread and trying out new recipes. We live in the north end of Winnipeg and see relational, emotional, physical, and spiritual poverty which often brings us to tears. In this place, we are reminded of what God can do. Before Christ, we were just as poor. Our poverty might have looked different, yet we were in the same boat, paddling the same waters. We are so very thankful that God had a rescue plan for us, and He has a rescue plan for everyone around us. His name is Jesus. I/we are very grateful to be part of the CBWC family and have formed wonderful friendships with others who are on mission together.
This regional newsletter is published quarterly within the CBWC’s monthly newsletter, Making Connections. Have a story idea? Email our senior writer, Jenna Hanger: jhanger@cbwc.ca