Pastors as Conversation Partners

By Heartland Regional Minister Rev. Mark Doerksen 

I had the privilege of growing up in a large family; I am one of the youngest children. My siblings are often conversation partners for me in different aspects of life. If I am trying to recall a recipe that my mom used, I call up my oldest sister Liz. If I need some work done on my furnace or air conditioner, I call my brother Tim. If I need to repair my garage door, I call on my brother-in-law Larry—or to talk to someone about an author or a book, it's my brother Paul. If I need to talk to someone about a rough patch in my life, I call my brother Sam.  Believe it or not, I've got more siblings than that, and I turn to each one from time to time. I'm grateful for them. 

When it comes to my work, I also have conversation partners that are invaluable to me. If I'm trying to sort something out regarding a passage in the New Testament, I know who to call. If there's a conflict situation in a church and I need further perspective, or if I sense a pastor could really use some encouragement or financial support, I know who to call. If I want to think more about theology from a Baptist perspective, I turned to trusted authors and others to further the conversation. There are more examples than this, of course, but I'm so grateful for these people in my life and how they help me in my life and ministry. 

There are times, however, when I'm thinking about something in my life and I don't currently have a resource or a person that I can turn to as a conversation partner. It's times like this that I put out feelers, asking people if they've got any resources for me on the situation that I'm thinking about. This requires patience, in my mind at least, to find a resource or a person that you can resonate with on a particular topic. 

I look back to my seminary days, and I'm so grateful for fellow students and professors that I could turn to, to help me gain further understanding or perspective on a particular issue. My assumed theology changed to deliberative theology because I had people to talk to, books and articles to read, and then the freedom to discern for myself. My understanding of the church, baptism, and women in leadership changed over time, and I look back with gratitude for those voices that were part of the conversation for me. 

I continue to have conversation partners, and to seek new ones. People, authors and books are important contributors to ongoing conversations. I know I must keep learning and growing, and I look forward to further discerning.  

If you don't have conversation partners for important things that you're going through or thinking about, I'd like to encourage you to speak to your pastor. I'm sure they would welcome the opportunity to read together, discuss ideas, pray together, and discern. It's a win-win situation: your pastor would be encouraged by the request, and you would gain a conversation partner. If you haven't done so yet, please give it a try.  And, of course, you can always reach out to your Regional Minister as well. 

The peace of Christ, 

Mark